Happy 2nd Birthday BabyKat!

We celebrated our daughter's birthday a few months ago (this is an extremely late post). Just sharing a few photos of her special day. Luckily, it was a holiday, so we were able to take along Miks and Josh.

We bought her our usual favorite pink flowers, plus a cake and some balloons. Here's ate taking photos of our gifts.

We put a fish cookie on the cake, just so it wouldn't be boring. Coz you know. She's a water dragon. (Labo haha!) We just wanted to make her cake look a little kiddier.

We celebrated the day by eating at the nearby Zark's, where we shocked the kids with our impressive Bacon-caged Burger. Yum. 

We had a great time, visiting her as a family, as usually it is Just and I who visit her.

Okay, this entry isn't just about balloons and burgers, if that's what you're thinking =D

In hindsight, the last 2 years since her passing have been good to us. We really feel that there is an angel up there watching over everything we do. Her birthday is not just a celebration of her birth, but a reminder of the experience, both the good and bad parts. It reminds us that our children are gifts, and that we are lucky to have them healthy, complete and whole with us at this moment. Kat's birthday also reminds me of the strength of my husband to carry me through the pregnancy, the funeral preparations we had to make while I was pregnant, and the black area immediately after losing her. It is a celebration of the partnership that I was so lucky to have found so early in my life, only strengthened by the challenging loss. And even for me, it is a reminder that even though my life is not easy, I have already been through so much worse, and I have an early understanding of what I should and shouldn't waste my short time with. That's one gift that Kat gave me, that I live with everyday. 

To parents who have just lost a child, who may be reading this and wondering, does the sadness ever end? Is it better in 2 years? Does it take 2 years?  I can say, it gets easier with time. It may possibly be easier with time for us, because we already have 2 children. I can imagine that the pain may be worse for those who lost their 1st child. For couples who have to go through that, I can only pray that it gets easier with time for them, too. I don't think there's a specific time frame I can give - admittedly, I surprise myself when I start crying in the car whenever "Fix You" by Coldplay comes on. You'd think it would take something BIGGER to make me cry now. But it happens. Your children stay with you forever. And even though I suck at being a mom (compared to other perf moms I see online, haha), I still wish Kat was with us so I could suck being a mom for her too. =P If that makes any sense. 

So, Happy 2nd Birthday to our beautiful angel, up in Heaven. We will always miss you.