The Happiness Project
You know how everyone had their #Happydaychallenge thing a few months ago? Even though I'm I huge, like, SHEEP in the sense that I love following trends, I did not get into that. In general, I am a very happy person, and I feel happiness even in the worst of days. I kid you not. Even during the "dark ages" of our pregnancy, I consistently found something to be happy about everyday (thank you American Idol!) I guess I just have a lower standard for happiness, and I easily find happiness in small things, so I wasn't so into the challenge where people seeked out at least 1 happy aspect of their day.
That said, this is a completely different concept from me being a "Grateful" person. I am not a grateful person. Happy, yes, but grateful, not so much. Meaning - I enjoy my life, but I am not that person who says at the end of the day, "Thank you for this and this and this." I don't even mean this in a religious way, that I'm not grateful to God for everything. More like, after working super hard everyday, I don't have the time/energy/willpower to look back on my day and touch on the aspects that I was happy about. Or I'm too busy scrolling thru my FB and IG feeds to meditate on what to be grateful for. Priorities, priorities.
So I am happy, but not grateful. To add to that, I do not like what I do for work. Nevermind that it is everyone else's dream job - it just does not seem to be mine. Though I cannot go into it for professional reasons, running a business well is completely different from running it and feeling fulfilled. Or perhaps the years of running the same business has gotten to me, and I just wanted to try something different, like any normal person. (More on this later on, as the book made me realize a lot of reasons behind these angsty feelings I have about my work.) So I was happy, yet ungrateful, and incredibly dissatisfied with my career.
Anyhoos, one fine day, while waiting for Just in Greenhills (who was taking forever with a supplier), my phones were both at dangerously low levels of lowbat. Extremely bored and suffering from a super low attention span, I texted Just that I would meet him at Fully Booked, where I can spend hours just looking through business books. I'm a big fan of buying any business self-help books and reading the first 30 pages, before lovingly displaying them on my shelves.
Anyways, I don't know what it was that drew me to a stack of the Best-Sellers. With the exception of Twilight, I wasn't a sheep in terms of reading, especially in the last few years. Why read when you can spend 30 more minutes a) joking around with your kids, b) making more money, or c) spending quality time with my hunky husband. I was a vicarious reader before entering college, much to the dismay of my Dad who spent so much money on books that I gobbled up in hours. However, after having kids, and the introduction of social media, books became an expensive and so-so interest for me.
As my eyes lazily glossed over books on the stacks, I saw this book. It did NOT stand out, and in fact, I found the cover kinda corny and 70s-ish in style (sorry, Gretchen Rubin!). But the title caught my eye, so I picked it up and turned it over.
"Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realized. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project."
Huh. Sounds familiar, but I wasn't really sold. So I opened it up to the first few pages.
"I'd always vaguely expected to outgrow my limitations. One day, I'd stop twisting my hair, and wearing running shoes all the time, and eating exactly the same food everyday. I'd remember my friend's birthdays, I'd learn Photoshop. I wouldn't let my daughter watch TV during breakfast. I'd read Shakespeare. I'd spend more time laughing and having fun, I'd be more polite, I'd visit museums more often, I wouldn't be scared to drive.
One April day, on a morning just like every other morning, I had a sudden realization: I was in daner of wasting my life."
Well, well, well. That sounded REALLY FAMILIAR.
Flip flip flip flip.
"Act the way I want to feel." This commandment sums up one of the most helpful insights that I'd learned in my happiness research: although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact we feel because of the way we act.
FOR REAL?? There's logic behind "Fake it till you make it?" Okay, SOLD.
Later that evening, I had read about 50 pages of the book. That's a pretty slow read for me. I realized that it took me a while to finish 50 pages because I was reflecting every other sentence. I must have had a blank look on my face every few minutes, not reading, just thinking.
A few days later, my daughter and I purchase these notebooks from Print Cafe (which they personalized with our names for free, how cool is that??) And one of the things I've resolved to do is to WRITE down the things that I should be grateful about. I should INVEST in time to think about this, so that a) I practice my mind to recognize the great parts of my day, and in turn b) being able to recognize the happy aspects DOES bring about happiness, when it is intentionally pointed out. And of course, lastly, the notebook would serve as a great reminder, for those inevitably tough days.
Anyways, I'm still about 150 pages only into the book. But let me tell you, I've learned so much and have applied so much in just the last 2 weeks. In fact, I'm such a big believer, that I hunted down a few copies of the book as Christmas presents for my close friends. I'm going to force them to read this damn book whether they like it or not!
That said, this is a completely different concept from me being a "Grateful" person. I am not a grateful person. Happy, yes, but grateful, not so much. Meaning - I enjoy my life, but I am not that person who says at the end of the day, "Thank you for this and this and this." I don't even mean this in a religious way, that I'm not grateful to God for everything. More like, after working super hard everyday, I don't have the time/energy/willpower to look back on my day and touch on the aspects that I was happy about. Or I'm too busy scrolling thru my FB and IG feeds to meditate on what to be grateful for. Priorities, priorities.
So I am happy, but not grateful. To add to that, I do not like what I do for work. Nevermind that it is everyone else's dream job - it just does not seem to be mine. Though I cannot go into it for professional reasons, running a business well is completely different from running it and feeling fulfilled. Or perhaps the years of running the same business has gotten to me, and I just wanted to try something different, like any normal person. (More on this later on, as the book made me realize a lot of reasons behind these angsty feelings I have about my work.) So I was happy, yet ungrateful, and incredibly dissatisfied with my career.
Anyhoos, one fine day, while waiting for Just in Greenhills (who was taking forever with a supplier), my phones were both at dangerously low levels of lowbat. Extremely bored and suffering from a super low attention span, I texted Just that I would meet him at Fully Booked, where I can spend hours just looking through business books. I'm a big fan of buying any business self-help books and reading the first 30 pages, before lovingly displaying them on my shelves.
Anyways, I don't know what it was that drew me to a stack of the Best-Sellers. With the exception of Twilight, I wasn't a sheep in terms of reading, especially in the last few years. Why read when you can spend 30 more minutes a) joking around with your kids, b) making more money, or c) spending quality time with my hunky husband. I was a vicarious reader before entering college, much to the dismay of my Dad who spent so much money on books that I gobbled up in hours. However, after having kids, and the introduction of social media, books became an expensive and so-so interest for me.
As my eyes lazily glossed over books on the stacks, I saw this book. It did NOT stand out, and in fact, I found the cover kinda corny and 70s-ish in style (sorry, Gretchen Rubin!). But the title caught my eye, so I picked it up and turned it over.
"Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realized. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project."
Huh. Sounds familiar, but I wasn't really sold. So I opened it up to the first few pages.
"I'd always vaguely expected to outgrow my limitations. One day, I'd stop twisting my hair, and wearing running shoes all the time, and eating exactly the same food everyday. I'd remember my friend's birthdays, I'd learn Photoshop. I wouldn't let my daughter watch TV during breakfast. I'd read Shakespeare. I'd spend more time laughing and having fun, I'd be more polite, I'd visit museums more often, I wouldn't be scared to drive.
One April day, on a morning just like every other morning, I had a sudden realization: I was in daner of wasting my life."
Well, well, well. That sounded REALLY FAMILIAR.
Flip flip flip flip.
"Act the way I want to feel." This commandment sums up one of the most helpful insights that I'd learned in my happiness research: although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact we feel because of the way we act.
FOR REAL?? There's logic behind "Fake it till you make it?" Okay, SOLD.
Later that evening, I had read about 50 pages of the book. That's a pretty slow read for me. I realized that it took me a while to finish 50 pages because I was reflecting every other sentence. I must have had a blank look on my face every few minutes, not reading, just thinking.
A few days later, my daughter and I purchase these notebooks from Print Cafe (which they personalized with our names for free, how cool is that??) And one of the things I've resolved to do is to WRITE down the things that I should be grateful about. I should INVEST in time to think about this, so that a) I practice my mind to recognize the great parts of my day, and in turn b) being able to recognize the happy aspects DOES bring about happiness, when it is intentionally pointed out. And of course, lastly, the notebook would serve as a great reminder, for those inevitably tough days.
Anyways, I'm still about 150 pages only into the book. But let me tell you, I've learned so much and have applied so much in just the last 2 weeks. In fact, I'm such a big believer, that I hunted down a few copies of the book as Christmas presents for my close friends. I'm going to force them to read this damn book whether they like it or not!
I'll also be writing about certain aspects of the book that I'm applying into my own life. That way, if I forget the positive changes I've made because LIFE BITES SOMETIMES, I can always be reminded to go back the right direction by, well, myself. Haha.
So if you're reading this, and you're not my barkada, please do pick up a copy of this book. Coz like I said in my Instagram when I posted the photo above - you may be happy, but you can always be happier.
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