Mel and the New Normal

For sentimental reasons, I took a picture of my last pump. It wasn't supposed to be the last pump, I don't even know why I took a photo. Today I made the decision to just stop, cold turkey (since I've been hanging on so long anyways). I keep extending and extending... it has to stop at some point. No better day than Kat's 6th Month Birthday.  My Last 3 Oz The last batch of donations. I took a photo of the last batch of milk in my freezer as well. It was supposed to go to UST, but they haven't picked it up, so it could go to any other babies (it's about 70 oz). I can't help but feel sad, looking at this picture. But I really know I have to let go. Ever since I started lessening my pumps, I've been seeing so much of my children. I didn't realize how much we missed out on each other, and it's time we catched up. I'm so happy seeing that there are many donations in the HM4HM Page now, overflowing with donations in fact. It puts my heart...

We had a short picnic in the cemetery as we celebrated BabyKat's 6th month. Even if she's not with us, we agreed to celebrate her important dates, like her 6th month, and her 1st birthday onwards =D She will always be our daughter. We bought some food, a blanket, etc. Her only guest today was the usual orange cat that keeps us company, so we gave her some of our food. Our caretaker set up a few chairs and a tent for us, and the weather, as usual, was wonderful.  Lunch! Perfect weather. We bought her a small cake from Aggy's, and lit a candle. We didn't blow it out, we just waited for the candle to die on it's own, then left the candle with her flowers.  The caretaker knew it was her birthday, and stuck some flowers around her marker.  We enjoyed spending a few hours there on our own. We did not cry today, and we have not for a while now. Perhaps because we feel her everywhere now, instead of feeling like she's gone.  As we were driving...

In a failed attempt to eat a Ramen Yushoken at Molito (they were closed, since they were on broken hours), J and I decided to try Con Gusto, the new restaurant beside it. What enticed us was that it was by Buon Giorno, a restaurant fave of J and I in Tagaytay. We would literally just drive up to eat there when we needed a few hours of peace (i.e., we would email and answer calls from there). They were, unfortunately, still on soft opening (see picture below of soft opening sign) at the time we were there (early January). Sooooo it would be unfair to blog about them now. I could tell they were still training staff, and several dishes and drinks were still unavailable. But what we had was good, though I felt, was in smaller servings that Buon Giorno. Also more expensive (which surprised me?) I'll let the pics speak for themselves. It's definitely worth a try if you're craving for some pasta, I plan to visit again in a few months.  Menu Choices (so blurry)

I just wanted to blog very quickly about our visit to Wildflour. I'm not starving right now anyways (I cheated today, my kids make it so hard to stay on this diet!) so might as well blog about it. Wildflour is one of the top restaurants in Manila now. Well, this is based on newspaper articles and several photo uploads of foodie friends. Their food always looks delicious on instagram! Hahaha! So on one of my meeting days in Fort, we decided to check it out. We've been very good in our spending anyways, so we thought we would treat ourselves. It was EXCELLENT! Damn.

I'm sorry for not updating recently. I have been preoccupied for the last 3 days with the HCG diet, and it's taking all my willpower to stay on it. I have a lot of food pictures for this blog, recent discoveries with J, but blogging about it will keeeeeelllll me! Hahahaha. So I'll update when I give up on this diet. I've lost 7.5 pounds in 5 (only 3 of which are actual diet/starvation) days but there's a sense of "It's not worth it!!!" I'd rather stuff myself with cakes today and gain it back hahahah. It's that bad! But I need to do it because 1. I am obviously  not at a healthy condition right now and 2. I have developed allergies to certain food that can only be caused by bad health / food choices. The diet is not extreme, but it is for me because I'm so used to eating anything I want. So even the food I never used to care about seem to special and delicious now! Oh, oh oh..... wish me luck! On a lighter note, BabyKat's 6th Monthsar...

My husband used to be huge smoker. However, a good friend of ours, Richie, introduced him to vaping a year back. J got into it, then stopped for a while. When we found out about Kat, J decided to have a healthier lifestyle, and went back into vaping (he did a cleanse too, and lost 20 pounds!) He is now a very passionate advocate of vaping. He imports and produces different vape juices, and vape accessories. Check out his sulit account for his stocks. He's hoping to have a small store soon to display his different wares. I bought him a Provari for Christmas, which I heard, is the ultimate when it comes to e-cigs. It even fell, and separated, but when J pushed it back together, it worked! Hardcore! I'm glad he stopped smoking for good. His link is here -- http://justinmenes.sulit.com.ph/

I have begun the slow, and slightly painful process of 'weaning'. To be exact, 'weaning' actually means the process of gradually introducing a baby to food, so that he takes less and less breastmilk. When he/she is fully weaned, the baby has stopped taking breastmilk. Personally, though, I have always referred to the time I stop donating as 'weaning', even though I don't have a baby to wean from me. I mean, I always knew what weaning meant, but for some reason I have always used that term when people ask up to when I plan to donate. Perhaps it's an unconscious thing. Perhaps I am the one weaning, in the sense that I get much of my strength from helping these babies, and slowly I have to let go. You'd think that it would be a relief to stop, but it's actually a very sad process for me. From the get-go, I knew myself well enough to know that 'weaning' would be difficult for me, both physically and psychologically. Probably more of the...

Justin and I watched a movie after work last night, and it was surprisingly inspiring. More on this later, but allow me to share with you the end of the movie. It may not mean a lot unless you watch the whole movie to understand the video, but the message should resonate with all parents out there, practicing Catholics or not. FYI, J and I are non-practicing Catholics, but we really enjoyed and understood the message of the movie. As a law-enforcement officer, I’ve seen firsthand the deep hurt and devastation that fatherlessness brings in a child’s life. Our prisons are full of men and women who lived recklessly after being abandoned by their fathers, wounded by the men who should have loved them the most. Many now follow the same pattern of irresponsibility that their fathers did.

3 Months Pregnant   The year of the cruise. The year of Taiwan. The year of cherry blossoms! The year of an earthquake in Taiwan (pag minalas ka naman talaga...) The year of excitement for change. The year of business growth. The year of hopes and dreams for the future. (Cheesy. I know.) The year that would have changed our lives again with another baby. The year where our house would be filled with baby giggles and laughter (and hysterical cries). The year of baby shopping for the first time! The year of the worst birthday every. The year of disbelief and disappointment. The year of hoping against hope. The year that nothing else mattered. The year of Zobel. The year of the awesome Makati Med. The year of loss and emptiness. The year of anger at anything and everything. The year of indifference. (This must be those grief phases that people refer to). The year of pushing forward. The year of working like a robot. The year of helping. The...

This is a late post, but we celebrated a very merry Christmas eve with our de Guia side of the family. Some friends from overseas joined our merry celebration. J and I were half-asleep the whole time, but still, it was great to be with family again. (Due to the nature of our problems, we missed ALL family celebrations since May of 2012). Mishmash of pictures below!

For years I have been complaining about the amount of stress and work related to our line of business(es). It's really unbelievable, and often I wish we could quit and become employees instead. Even though we don't own our time, at least, we will have time. Our work requires us to be on our toes 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We even dream about work! But then I see how much employees our age, from our schools, make. When we do the math, we simply can't afford to send our kids to school with what the current offerings are. It just doesn't add up, so we stay even if the work really kills us. You'd think that the work we do is something fun, but when it becomes a massive operation with 5-8 events a day, it's not fun anymore. When you have 40 employees and corporation paperwork and taxes, it's just... different. I crave the days when it would just be 3 or 4 of us doing the work, merrily attaching balloons to the ceiling. However, with what happened with Kat, ...

I'm so sorry I've been missing in action. We had events until the end of the year, and I've used this last free 48 hours to spend time with family (and watch Homeland, which is awesome!) I'll be back with an update on my blog of how my 2012 went, and my thoughts on 2012. Until then, Happy New Year!