Mel and the New Normal

I was busy last week, so just had the chance to post this now. My Baby turns 1 today. If she was alive, we'd probably be having an uber cool, super-fly party for her. Because, well, that's what we do for a living. Extra special because she would have been a survivor. But, since we're corny and she's not here with us, we just styled her grave in a super cheesy manner! FUNNY, CHEESY, CORNY, GOOD VIBES! (FYI when we got there her "caretaker" had taken it upon herself to put those white flowers on her own, haha. She was expecting us because we're there almost every week, so she anticipated the date.)

We had a short picnic in the cemetery as we celebrated BabyKat's 6th month. Even if she's not with us, we agreed to celebrate her important dates, like her 6th month, and her 1st birthday onwards =D She will always be our daughter. We bought some food, a blanket, etc. Her only guest today was the usual orange cat that keeps us company, so we gave her some of our food. Our caretaker set up a few chairs and a tent for us, and the weather, as usual, was wonderful.  Lunch! Perfect weather. We bought her a small cake from Aggy's, and lit a candle. We didn't blow it out, we just waited for the candle to die on it's own, then left the candle with her flowers.  The caretaker knew it was her birthday, and stuck some flowers around her marker.  We enjoyed spending a few hours there on our own. We did not cry today, and we have not for a while now. Perhaps because we feel her everywhere now, instead of feeling like she's gone.  As we were driving...

I'm sorry for not updating recently. I have been preoccupied for the last 3 days with the HCG diet, and it's taking all my willpower to stay on it. I have a lot of food pictures for this blog, recent discoveries with J, but blogging about it will keeeeeelllll me! Hahahaha. So I'll update when I give up on this diet. I've lost 7.5 pounds in 5 (only 3 of which are actual diet/starvation) days but there's a sense of "It's not worth it!!!" I'd rather stuff myself with cakes today and gain it back hahahah. It's that bad! But I need to do it because 1. I am obviously  not at a healthy condition right now and 2. I have developed allergies to certain food that can only be caused by bad health / food choices. The diet is not extreme, but it is for me because I'm so used to eating anything I want. So even the food I never used to care about seem to special and delicious now! Oh, oh oh..... wish me luck! On a lighter note, BabyKat's 6th Monthsar...

Happy 4th Month Baby! Today, you would have been on your stomach, able to hold your head sturdily. You would have been able to make cooing sounds at us, and your eyes would have followed us around the room. We miss you and think if you everyday. Thank you for watching over and making your presence felt. Forever and Always, Mommy and Daddy. PS Mommy's Kiddie Parties for Charity Group will be having a huge kiddie party in National Children's Hospital, arranged by Wanlu. Mommy cannot go because her cough might pass on to the patients, but please watch over the performers so that they may help the children feel better. And please watch over the little children with cancer so that they celebrate Christmas at home.

Transferred from tumbler. I Can’t Believe I’m Blogging Again. Because I Dislike Bloggers. Just a day or two ago, I told my friends that I dislike bloggers. (Dislike being a conservative word.) Well, not all bloggers. Just some. I actually used to blog, right after college. This was shortly after my dad passed away, and I was facing life after college. But when I realized my clients were reading my blog, knew too much details, I became wary. I stopped. Five years later, a client mentioned that she found my old blog. I immediately deactivated the blog — I realized my 20 year old thoughts were not something I wanted my work world to see. It seems that after meeting the real world, I realized that I didn’t want everyone to know where I go, what my kids looked like, my opinions. In fact, due to the nature of my work, apparently, I am not entitled to opinions about food, restaurants, etc. It didn’t seem to make sense to critique anything if I/We could’t do a better job, right?  ...