Mel and the New Normal

I often get asked the following questions. For anyone who needs to know the basics of CDH, or a little about my medical history, here are some questions and answers: 1. Is the cause of CDH known yet? Unfortunately, no. Some studies are leaning towards a lack of Vitamin A in the diet as a possible cause of CDH.. in rats. I could tell you straight out though that the food I ate while I was pregnant has a LOT of Vitamin A. Other studies show that it could be the combination of the parents that cause it, triggered by something else (age?). Maaaannnnnn, I mean, talk about match incompatibility right? We probably won't know in this lifetime. If your baby has CDH, it would be a great help though, to contribute your blood samples and family history to a CDH study, like J and I did. We sent blood samples to New York, and we are part of the study being done there. Who knows, maybe someday, they'll know how to prevent it from happening. If you are in the US, please research on how yo...

I promise, I have happier posts lined up soon! We went on a great mini road-trip, and I have several pictures for sharing. Will be posting them over the next few days!  Just wanted to share some sad news that I've known for a couple of weeks. Often, since Kat died, we get told, "don't worry, you're still young, you'll have another chance!" FYI, this does not hurt our feelings, it's not like people are intentionally telling us that another baby will replace Kat --- we know what they mean that, at least, we still have another chance. Though we are young (question mark here, we might actually be old!), and we would love nothing more than to have another baby to hold (I think this comes with the territory of giving birth but not coming home with your baby), I fear it won't be possible.

I've been avoiding it for the past couple of months, but looking thru the stats of my page, there are people who are still reading the page to know more about CDH, our experience in Makati Med, etc. So in between my experiences about restaurants and life, I'll be posting little by little regarding our months leading to delivering Kat. I do admit that it's difficult to go through the materials, but I know that it will help families out there. Part of what made the experience so difficult was the lack of information about CDH, and infant surgery, in general, in Asia and the Philippines. So I hope the entries I will write little by little, help you.

The most common misconceptions about BabyKat's short life are: 1) She died while I was still carrying her; 2) She was unresponsive when I gave birth to her; 3) She did not live long enough for us to see her. As I was still required to stay in bed for the first few hours due to the my CS operation, J was able to capture photos and videos of her, and would show it to me. I was sadly not able to see her during this particular time, when she was still super active and feisty. The nurses had to tie her arm down to keep her from moving so much (her organs might get damaged from all that pushing and pulling). By the time I saw her, one of her lungs had already given way, and she was under heavy anesthesia already. They had to actually give her shots to calm her down, as all her movement was making her heart race. These images and thoughts still keep me awake at night. Was she moving around so much because she was looking for me? Was she scared? How much pain was she in? She never eve...

1. Twenty-nine is OLD.  I have always thought that 29 was still a good age to have a baby. I mean, most of my friends don't even have kids yet. But in my first appointment, my first OB called me "old" when I complained that this pregnancy was more difficult than my previous 2. By OLD, she didn't mean old, but she meant older than the usual women. I thought she was kidding, but 2nd and 3rd opinions by OBs agreed - 29 is apparently not "young". Which was odd. When I was 12, I always assumed 28 onwards was the marrying age. The risk of having a baby with chromosomal disorders increase as a woman grows older. The most common of these disorders is Down syndrome, a combination of mental retardation and physical abnormalities caused by the presence of an extra chromosome. At age 25, a woman has about a 1-in-1, 250 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome; at age 30, a 1-in-1,000 chance; at age 35, a 1-in-400 chance; at age 40, a 1-in-100 chance; and at 45, a 1...

After our third CAS, our OBGYN, Dr. Arlene Bravo, explained that we would have to assemble a team of doctors to work together. Though in the end, only our OBGYN, Anesthesiologist, and Neonat were with us in the delivery room, I would like to think that it was a team of doctors that got us there, to full term. As predicted, we had several complications leading to her delivery, and we are so grateful that she made it to her 37th week. We were also so grateful to have more than a day to say goodbye, have her baptized, take pictures. Since their lungs don't function properly, most CDH babies die within the first few seconds or minutes, or hours.  Though Kat didn't make it, I can tell you, I had the best team of doctors possible here in the Philippines. They were the best of the best. And I will be always grateful for their efforts (which is why MMC is my priority in donating milk). Here is my Team of Doctors, and their contact info. I will have a separate entry for each one eventu...