Mel and the New Normal

The most common misconceptions about BabyKat's short life are: 1) She died while I was still carrying her; 2) She was unresponsive when I gave birth to her; 3) She did not live long enough for us to see her. As I was still required to stay in bed for the first few hours due to the my CS operation, J was able to capture photos and videos of her, and would show it to me. I was sadly not able to see her during this particular time, when she was still super active and feisty. The nurses had to tie her arm down to keep her from moving so much (her organs might get damaged from all that pushing and pulling). By the time I saw her, one of her lungs had already given way, and she was under heavy anesthesia already. They had to actually give her shots to calm her down, as all her movement was making her heart race. These images and thoughts still keep me awake at night. Was she moving around so much because she was looking for me? Was she scared? How much pain was she in? She never eve...

Sometimes, life works so that you never forget the dates of certain events. After giving birth to Josh and having an epidural, my memory was never the same. Perhaps I'm just finding a scapegoat, but I really was a sharper tool before anesthesia . With Mika, I had an all natural birth (not by choice, FYI), so it was the first time I would forget a lot of things. I eventually learned that I just had to accept it, and write things down to remember them. Dates were the worst. I would forget the right date of my kid's birthdays, and instead, remember the dates that we celebrated them on. Isn't that terrible? The only reason I remember very clearly J's birthday is that it is the exact reverse of mine (I'm 5/9, he's 9/5.) But yes, sometimes, life makes it easy for you to remember certain dates. Justin and I had our congenital scan on April, but the position of the baby failed to show us if she was a boy or girl at that time. Her position also blocked the positi...

Yesterday, I received a tag from Yheng, a mommy I met in  Human Milk for Human Babies Philippines  (she arranged the donation of milk for one of her friends). There was a call for help for milk, and I was able to contact the mom. Before even contacting her, Dra. Martinez from Makati Med already texted the request, so I knew that the milk was urgently needed. Zel and I were able to PM each other, and discussed that her brother might pick up the milk the next morning. When I woke up today, the milk was already picked up. I messaged Zel to remind her to ice it (since milk has to be frozen solid or else it spoils, and can't be refrozen.) Apparently though, it was another family from Makati Med who picked up the milk (which I have no problems with!) And for good reason. The milk donations for Baby Bailey were, in Filipino terms -- "umaapaw!" Can you imagine? A mom went there to express milk at MMC during her free time, another mom gave 120+ oz, and another gave 96...