Sick and sad.
I'm blogging from bed, not at 100% yet but much better. Since yesterday, I've been experiencing fevers as high as 39.5. J was also bed-ridden from something, but took care of me since he was in slightly better shape. When my fever would not go down, he begged that we go to Asian Hospital already for a blood test.
Ironic that I would have the high fevers but J would be the one dextrosed. Apparently , he was dehydrated while I had bacterial infection. I actually know where this stemmed from. Thursday and Friday were incredibly busy days, and I did not drink enough water. Maybe just 4 cups or so, and since I was pumping, my body couldn't handle it. It didn't affect my milk, and wouldn't even affect it now. However, I need to take antibiotics for 7 days, and that would pass on to the milk. My milk will only be okay after the 8th day.
My mom suggested that I stop donating already. After all, it's been three months. And perhaps I should, because to be honest, the thought of pumping 6 times a day, only to throw the milk down the drain, is really depressing. I will throw about 100oz this week. And engorgement and pumping is excrutiating when your fever is so high.
I guess I'll see how it goes, and take it day by day. I've thrown about 30oz already away, which is such a shame. I can't stop pumping, or I risk losing my supply completely. Before this, I was still going strong. The routine was already there so it wasn't a hassle. But pumping during a fever is a lot harder than I thought. Getting out of bed alone is a challenge. The doctor said by Tuesday i'll be feeling better though. Looking forward to that, since I have a jampacked week planned.
Perhaps, psychologically, Im also not ready to let go of the last physical connection to my daughter. It's my last link to her, that reminds me everday that she was there, even just for a while. Not that I need reminding, but I still love having even just this.
In other news -- just met a mom, MJ, who s baby passed away last Monday, and will be donating milk using a borrowed pump from BabyMama. I am so sad for her loss, especially when i found out that we are from the same industry. But I hope this helps her the same way it helped me. And Mommy Zel, since she bought a new pump, will be lending her old pump to any mom who loses their baby and would like to donate her milk as a way of coping. It's her way of paying the favor forward, because so many amazing moms donated to her baby. It's amazing how things work out sometimes.
Ps please excuse typos. Blogging from an ipad.
Ironic that I would have the high fevers but J would be the one dextrosed. Apparently , he was dehydrated while I had bacterial infection. I actually know where this stemmed from. Thursday and Friday were incredibly busy days, and I did not drink enough water. Maybe just 4 cups or so, and since I was pumping, my body couldn't handle it. It didn't affect my milk, and wouldn't even affect it now. However, I need to take antibiotics for 7 days, and that would pass on to the milk. My milk will only be okay after the 8th day.
My mom suggested that I stop donating already. After all, it's been three months. And perhaps I should, because to be honest, the thought of pumping 6 times a day, only to throw the milk down the drain, is really depressing. I will throw about 100oz this week. And engorgement and pumping is excrutiating when your fever is so high.
I guess I'll see how it goes, and take it day by day. I've thrown about 30oz already away, which is such a shame. I can't stop pumping, or I risk losing my supply completely. Before this, I was still going strong. The routine was already there so it wasn't a hassle. But pumping during a fever is a lot harder than I thought. Getting out of bed alone is a challenge. The doctor said by Tuesday i'll be feeling better though. Looking forward to that, since I have a jampacked week planned.
Perhaps, psychologically, Im also not ready to let go of the last physical connection to my daughter. It's my last link to her, that reminds me everday that she was there, even just for a while. Not that I need reminding, but I still love having even just this.
In other news -- just met a mom, MJ, who s baby passed away last Monday, and will be donating milk using a borrowed pump from BabyMama. I am so sad for her loss, especially when i found out that we are from the same industry. But I hope this helps her the same way it helped me. And Mommy Zel, since she bought a new pump, will be lending her old pump to any mom who loses their baby and would like to donate her milk as a way of coping. It's her way of paying the favor forward, because so many amazing moms donated to her baby. It's amazing how things work out sometimes.
Ps please excuse typos. Blogging from an ipad.
Comments
Post a Comment