The Power of the Mind
Sitting down now in Las Paellas, one of my suki restaurants. I am blogging away to pass the time while getting over my nausea. Pregnant you say? Definitely not (and you can trust me on that.) Christmas is making me nauseous.
Yesterday, while buying fabric in Southmall, I had to sit down in the shoes section for a good half hour. Literally, between two racks of shoes. My ears were ringing, and for some reason I just wanted to start crying in the middle of the mall. Yes, there were a lot of people and lines were long, but I am very much used to that because of my work. It was the Christmas songs and decor that got to me. Anxiety attack? Not sure, but I was ready to hurl on the floor. I stayed in my car and recovered before driving home drained.
Now in Festival mall, hearing Christmas songs made me want to throw up again. I never realized I could be so literal when I say "this song makes me want to throw up."
I told J last night that I hated this season this year, with such passion. I was doing better, but all these new baby stores opening and all this christmas cheer is bringing me back to July. Isn't that terrible? I'm used to not feeling Christmas, but I'm not used to breaking down in the middle of a mall because of Christmas carols. I guess I'm just overcome with work stress coupled with memories of my early morning sickness late last December. Hearing the songs just remind me of last year. I guess I just didn't predict the physical effect. Something similar happened to me with my first pregnancy. While pregnant I couldn't stand the smell of oil, and the nausea stayed with me even after I gave birth. It was like reliving the nausea every time I smelled oil!
Hoping the feeling wears off so I can sincerely celebrate Christmas with my children.
Yesterday, while buying fabric in Southmall, I had to sit down in the shoes section for a good half hour. Literally, between two racks of shoes. My ears were ringing, and for some reason I just wanted to start crying in the middle of the mall. Yes, there were a lot of people and lines were long, but I am very much used to that because of my work. It was the Christmas songs and decor that got to me. Anxiety attack? Not sure, but I was ready to hurl on the floor. I stayed in my car and recovered before driving home drained.
Now in Festival mall, hearing Christmas songs made me want to throw up again. I never realized I could be so literal when I say "this song makes me want to throw up."
I told J last night that I hated this season this year, with such passion. I was doing better, but all these new baby stores opening and all this christmas cheer is bringing me back to July. Isn't that terrible? I'm used to not feeling Christmas, but I'm not used to breaking down in the middle of a mall because of Christmas carols. I guess I'm just overcome with work stress coupled with memories of my early morning sickness late last December. Hearing the songs just remind me of last year. I guess I just didn't predict the physical effect. Something similar happened to me with my first pregnancy. While pregnant I couldn't stand the smell of oil, and the nausea stayed with me even after I gave birth. It was like reliving the nausea every time I smelled oil!
Hoping the feeling wears off so I can sincerely celebrate Christmas with my children.
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